HAPPY NEW YEAR! It’s 2020! Can you even believe it?!
I feel like it was just yesterday that I was graduating high school, and now in the blink of an eye I’m married and graduated 7 years ago. 7 years ago! Where has the time gone?
I love the beginning of a new year. As an enneagram four, I’m always excited for an opportunity for change, to become something better, & to make new & lasting changes in my life. I love new planners, goal setting journals, new routine ideas…all of it!
Every year, I ask for Powersheets for Christmas and take the time between Christmas & the new year to brainstorm and fill out my goals & intentions for the year. In addition, Josh and I will sit down together (we try to have a new year planning trip or at least set a day aside!) and talk about the previous year, things we did well and didn’t do well, things we want to change & get better at, trips we have planned and want to plan, work goals, etc.
I’ll be honest. Last year was…hard, to say the least. January 1st, 2019 began with a positive pregnancy test, and it kinda went downhill from there. My first miscarriage at 6 weeks began at the end of January, the same day our offer got accepted for our first home. We were left grappling with an unexpected loss and moving into our first home at the same time.
Time moved forward, we celebrated our second anniversary, settled into our new home, picked up the broken pieces of our hearts, got back to work, and looked forward. Then came a second pregnancy. I was so afraid of another loss, but I had so much hope. When I made it past 6 weeks and 4 days (how far along I was when I lost my first pregnancy), we celebrated. I had crossed a huge milestone. I just had to make it to my 10 week appointment to hear the heartbeat. If I made it there, then I could be at peace. Of course we know that didn’t work out. The baby stopped growing at 9 weeks and 2 days and the heartbeat was undetectable at my 10 week appointment. That second loss was easier and harder at the same time. Easier, because we’d gone through this before.Harder, because we were left to grapple with yet another loss including more questions, more trauma, & more worry that we just might could go through this process a third time, still having no baby to show for it.
Fall left me focusing on my spiritual health, decorating our home for the holidays, and building this blog. I didn’t think much about trying to get pregnant again because I didn’t want to. The thought of having to go through it again made me shudder. I eventually had to go to a few doctor appointments and even going to the doctor for unrelated issues made my heart race and cause anxiety. There was no way I was ready to do this again.
It wasn’t until December when I became excited at the thought of getting pregnant again. Day by day, the thought gets easier. I don’t know if it’ll ever be so easy that I won’t think about possible loss and not be bothered by it, but with God’s grace, I know I’ll be able to walk through it again.
So where are we now? We have no timeline. Would we like to get pregnant this year? Yes. Are we intentionally planning it? No.
I’m waiting for some guidance. I don’t know if God will ever light up the sky and tell me “now is the time!!!” but I would like to feel ready, and I don’t feel ready yet.
Instead, I’m setting goals for the year that help me to look forward, to put myself in the best position for a future baby: focusing on physical health, finish decorating and organizing our home, developing simple systems and routines in our personal lives, getting finances in order, & working hard.
Of course, many other beautiful and amazing things happened in 2019 that I can not even begin to share or else we’d be here all day. It was the year I started Every Woman Co., we got our new pup Cooper, celebrated friends, crossed milestones at church and began new projects, and enjoyed many amazing memories with friends and family.
My Word of the Year
2019 was a year where I had to learn to release control, trust God through the painful storms of life, and discover His goodness & faithfulness despite the circumstances. As I asked God for some insight into maybe what this year would bring, I kept feeling nudged towards the word Grace. As I looked up the definition, here’s what stood out to me:
- the free and unmerited favor of God
- refinement of movement.
One of my favorite verses that I read a lot towards the end o last year was Matthew 11:28 in The Message version:
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
By the end of last year, I was tired and worn out. I’m ready to recover my life, to walk with Jesus and learn His unforced rhythms of grace. I want to live freely & lightly.
I believe when we walk with Him, really walk with Him, we’ll see how easy it is to do the things He’s given us to do, whether that be the job we’re in, the people we’re in relationship with, or the new challenges like motherhood or becoming a wife. These things aren’t inherently easy, but walking with Him gives us the tools we need to be successful at them. We can soar through life, not because of our own strength or works but because of His grace and goodness. It’s the year we can live freely and lightly. It’s the year He’ll untangle our messes and clear out the roads before us so that it will be easy and clear to move forward. It’s the year where His grace can be sufficient for us, if only we let Him.
And as we walk with Him, letting Him move over to the drivers seat while we chill in the passenger seat, our movements can be refined. We’ll be able to see clearly what matters and what doesn’t. In setting our goals, we won’t be tied down to unrealistic expectations and disappointed at the end of the year by unmet goals. We can set goals that refine us, not define us. We can set goals that make what matters most happen, according to His will, rather than striving til we burn out. We can set goals and watch His grace see them through.
My word of the year is GRACE, because his favor is ready and available and accessible to me, and grace will help refine my movements this year.
As mentioned earlier, each year I use Powersheets to really help me define & refine 😉 goals I want to achieve. Powersheets work really well because the system doesn’t command you to work on all your goals at the same time (that would overload you and you would never succeed), but to instead break them into bite-sized pieces and develop them over the course of the year as a process, not as a destination.
My goals include:
- Develop a closer relationship with Jesus
- Manage finances well
- Create a well-managed home
- Take care of my body
- Faithfully manage time
- Steward position at [Church]
- Steward Every Woman Co.
Notes: For 6 & 7, I use the word stewardship as a fancy way of saying, “faithfully take care of my job requirements”.
I’m sticking to 8 goals because any more than that would be biting off more than I can chew. Of course, each of these goals have a few bullet points underneath. For instance, under “Create a well-managed home” that includes organizing, decorating, & creating helpful systems in my home.
I also love Powersheets because you can plan each month on your “tending list” to make sure you’re achieving these goals monthly, weekly, & daily. It takes you from just writing them down to actually making a plan of how you’re going to achieve them. I find that if I don’t set a time & date for when I’m going to achieve a goal, I’m just writing down words on a paper.
I hope to update you all on my progress, maybe once a quarter, so that I can continue to hold myself accountable to achieving these goals! It’s really easy to make a plan when you’re excited for the new year, and then get distracted after a couple months. I pray this year, with God’s grace, it will be different because I’m doing them with Him.
So how about you? Do you like to set goals? Do you have a word of the year? I pray that whatever your plans and intentions are for the year, that you’ll bring them to Jesus and find His grace for your year. I believe exceedingly abundant things are in store for us, and I’m excited to watch them unfold.
(p.s.: you can pin these images to refer back to this blog post later!)
2020 Goals & My Word of the Year!
January 9, 2020